Category: Uncategorized

Posted on

Can women and men EVER be just ‘friends’?

the orignal debate.... can men and women be friends?Ranking up there as one of the top topics on the internet… behind sex, dating and marriage is the simple question:

“Can Men and Women just be friends?”

“when Harry met Sally” the underlying theme is exactly that… “Can two friends sleep together and still love each other in the morning?”.

The movie provides their own sort of answer… but people tend to respond to this question based on what they bring into the situation.

Here’s a few ‘answers’ to the question I found on the internet… but search the net for yourself… some of the solutions are very amusing:

1) I told him/her that I just ‘wanted to be friends’ because I definitely don’t want  to go farther with this person.

2) I told him/her that I wanted to be ‘friends’… because then I would have more access to them … and could bump the relationship up in the future.

3) I told him/her I wanted to be friends because that’s like saying,”let’s do lunch’, then I would never call.

I think the following is the best lines of the ‘When Harry met Sally”:

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That’s too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

Well, this all is a bit over the top, but for those of you who BELIEVE that men and women COULD BE friends… think of it this way, scientists have shown that men think about sex every 51 seconds… so some of the spare time could be used to think about making friends…

However, all is not lost, there are some environments where men and women work together and it appears that a good working relationship or ‘friendship’ evolves… such as in the army. However, it is important to remember that the penalties for crossing the friendship line in the military are severe… you can get kicked out for adultery alone.

So it really depends on what efforts are in place to support workplace discipline. To make this point clear my wife (and friend) Laura in her psychology class will say that almost any behavior can be modified or changed with the right reward and punishment scheme. Imagine — she says — that it is determined that illegal parking warrants capital punishment… students will respond saying,’well …. it’s only 25 miles…. and it’s a good day for a walk!’

‘Platonic friendships’ can also work bnetween men and women… but it requires more effort than most realize…. and usually the right environment.

Here’s what other folks are saying on this very popular issue:

MedicineNet.com
Psychology Today
from a Christian Perspective
Confused
from Cosmo

There’s literally a ton of stuff on the net… Google showed over 36 million entries… I don’t have quite enough time to view them all… but from my observation, it could be summarized that a woman would be fortunate to have the following real male friends in her life… 1) her husband 2) her father 3) her brothers and possibly 4) other related men. Outside of this small universe, I haven’t seen it happen.

So, for now, let’s just be friends.

 

Roger Freberg

 

Posted on

Whose Women do Men Protect?

Fair Young Maiden , a bottle of run and thar be a full moon t'night, Luv!The Nature vs. Nurture debate goes on and on and don’t you just love it?

Some people just can’t let it go when faced with recent advances in the scientific community that appear to contradict their entire life’s work.

For far too long, one notion of how the world worked held sway. We were taught to believe that if you succeeded it was because of your environment and if you failed it was because of your environment… your ‘genes’ had nothing to do with it. Science is giving us a much clearer explanation, today.

We’re having to unlearn what we were taught and that is becoming most disturbing — even frightening — to those who have invested their career and their political life in one point of view. The resulting conflict between current dogma and the influences of new research in genetics shows up in the darndest places with often the most surprising of advocates.

A recent article by Shaunti Feldhahn and Diane Glass took opposing points of view in the discussion: CHIVALRY TODAY: SHOULD MEN BE EXPECTED TO PROTECT WOMEN. I leave the full reading to you in the attached link above, but allow me to offer this brief and rather incomplete & brutal summary: Shaunti says that it is in men’s nature to protect and Diane takes the position that women shouldn’t want male protection and — besides — it is a learned behavior. The truth is somewhat different from both.

There is plenty of research on the concept of ‘altruism’. This is a kinship phenomenon. As it applies to men, males will protect and defend women in their family… or whatever extension of ‘family’ they visualize. So, Shaunti is more correct by concluding that men will ( or we expect them to) protect women within their group.. and Diane is less correct in assuming that men will not protect women… with the exception that men are less likely to protect women outside their family group.

Unfortunately, folks like Diane appear to view these types of discussions with fear. They apparently worry that agreement in ‘hereditary’ issues and discussions might throw society back to the age in which women were relatively dependent and economically and sexually powerless and fret that the unintended concequences of her actions would be to find herself and all womenkind stuck in slavery once again. This is a case of fear driving politics and politics erasing science.

There is a chance that Diane only knows weenie men and cats, lots of them. I do seldom see women like Diane with anything like a man… more like a eunuch. I wrote about ‘Weenie men and the Women who love them”… I just hope you — Diane — aren’t one of them. Weenie men seldom make women happy in the long run.

Here are a few fans of Shaunti:

KLOPBLOG
I’d Rather Laugh than Cry
Spunky Chick’s book Club
Elizabeth
Respect or Love
Modesty Matters
DIRO
Patrick o’Connell

My Blog today reminds me of two things:

1) The world of science is opening doors we never dreamed… and all for the better… however, let’s hope we are wise enough to understand what we see…. ethics seems to travel slower than science.

2) Diane, to protect our culture and your world, you may need a few real men… and real women…… or we all may be viewing that horrific world yuo envision through the slits of a burka.

It’s never too late to see the world for what it is and change your point of view.

Roger Freberg

 

PlayPlay

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Posted on

Get over it…. Men are just happier!

This was posted on an “Evolutionary Psychology’ list and passed on to me for a few laughs…
____________________________________________

MEN:

Men Are Just Happier People — What do you expect from such simple
creatures? 

 

2 happy guys

 

Your last name stays put. 
The garage is all yours. 
Wedding plans take care of themselves. 
Chocolate is just another snack. 
You can be President. 
You can never be pregnant. 
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. 
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. 
Car mechanics tell you the truth. 
The world is your urinal. 
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.  
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 
Same work, more pay. 
Wrinkles add character. 
Wedding dress $5000.  Tux rental-$100. 
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. 
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 
One mood all the time. 
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 
You know stuff about tanks. 
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 
You can open all your own jars. 
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. 
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. 
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 
You almost never have strap problems in public. 
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. 
Everything on your face stays its original color. 
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 
You only have to shave your face and neck. 
You can play with toys all your life. 
Your belly usually hides your big hips. 
One wallet and one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. 
You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. 
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. 

No wonder men are happier.
_____________________________________________

Another Psychologist added in his post that ‘alcohol is 1/2 as toxic to men as to women.’

hmmmmm, profound comments, except….. I pay about $16 for a three pack of boxers at Costco…guess I paid too much?

Roger Freberg

Posted on

A Tribute to the… er… ah… “Testicle Tree”

the fabled fruit of the Testicle tree... banned in BostonLiving in California, most of the folks here are very familiar with the fruit of the “Testicle Tree”. In fact, you can’t visit a family home anywhere in the West where there isn’t a ‘secret family recipe’ that incorporates … er… Avocado.

If you subscribe to the NEW SCIENTIST, they include in the September issue a story about the history of the greatest fruit on earth… the Avocado.

I leave the reading of some of the stories to you …. but I found two most amusing:

First, it appears that the “Spanish Monks” viewed the Avocado ( ‘ahuacacuauhiti’ in Aztec) as a ‘promoter of lust’ and banned the tree from it’s monastery grounds! After some mispronunciations of the Aztec name over time… “Avocado” is the name that has evolved down to us today.

The second story is worthy of P.T. Barnum. It appears an enterprising man shipped Avocados into the United States … unfortunately, they began rippening all too quickly in his warehouse… panicked… he then circulated the story to all the newspapers that the ‘rumor’ that avocados raised sexual potency was completely false. His warehouse was quickly emptied.

Funny how some promises will get folks to do almost anything…. even things on the internet and through email.

As for me, I have a simple recipe for my Avocado dip: 9 Avocados mashed, salsa, sour cream and seasoned “Susie Q” to taste…. ahhhh… yes, dip with white corn chips. Add football and the liquid beverage of your choice… and the world is a better place!

Avocado recipes:

Hass
Que Pasa Baja
Quick Dip
Corn Salad
Avocados Stuffed with Crab Meat

Roger Freberg

Celebrating the AvocadoSoccer players have small avocados

PS.  Never Forget who brought us 911… and those who are defending us today

Posted on

Want to be ‘Dead Sexy?’ ……Watch what you eat!

I'm dead sexy....

 An interesting study was done to see if men who do or do not eat red meat are more attractive to women….  here’s a brief ‘top line’:

“… showed that the odor of donors when on the nonmeat diet was judged as significantly more attractive, more pleasant, and less intense.”

Now that our man on the left is on a carbo or the zone diet and off red meat… I guess this means he’s now more attractive to women? I guess… he probably smells great!

There’s a tale that before soldiers would go into the jungle… they would go off meat or fish for a couple of days to avoid being ‘detectable.’ That’s the only thing I have ever heard remotely connected to this study.

So, what do you think?

Now, from where I sit, this doesn’t mean becoming a vegetarian… and what we really don’t know is whether eating or not eating red meat is all that important in the grand scheme of things. My guess is that there are far greater issues that influence attraction.

But I do wonder sometimes…. when my wife leans over and says,’ you smell really nice.’ I never can remember what I did? What kind of soap did I use? It leaves me totally confused and searching for answers… but then, maybe that’s the plan….

Roger Freberg

Here’s a few blogs on what women like or don’t:

ITALIAN MEN
LonelyGirl15FanClub
ParisHiltonPUNKED
With DixieChicks on her mind (viva T.K.)