Category: Dear Dad

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What were YOU doing in 1976?

time flies....

Looking through old scrapbooks, I found a couple of pictures of Laura and I from 1976… whew, have I changed! Laura had her masters and was working on her Ph.D., I was in my first year of my MBA, we had been married 4 years… and we were visiting Laura’s Austrian exchange family. Funny to remember what was happening in those years…

1) Viking probe lands on Mars 2)Summer Olympic Games held in Montréal 3) Israeli airborne commandos attack Uganda’s Entebbe Airport
and free 103 hostages Islamic terrrorists of Air France plane 4)Jimmy Carter elected US President (sheeesh) 5) Ethernet invented (no, Al Gore didn’t invent this either) 

6) Khmer Rouge leader Pol Pot becomes prime minister
(and virtual dictator) of Cambodia after
Prince Sihanouk steps down (April 2) 7) Chinese leader Mao Tse-tung Dies 8) Two amateur electronics enthusiasts develop the
Apple computer in a California garage
 
9) Most Popular T.V Shows: Happy Days (ABC),
Laverne & Shirley (ABC) ,ABC Monday Night Movie (ABC),
M*A*S*H (CBS),  Charlie’s Angels (ABC) I loved Austria… but we just came from Munich and spent a week at the Hotel Haberstock (a great place… but now just a memory) with evening walks to the Hofbrauhaus… aaah.   Roger Freberg   

      

     

 

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What WE Do for Love….

what we do for loveI am always fascinated by articles preaching to women on what a bad situation they have in life IF they get married.

Certainly, some women will find this article oddly compelling and in a way help rationalize their own decisions & current situation:

“Might I suggest that women have more of a “taste” for housework because they are shamed into it when they are even quite small.They are taught it is their responsibility. As a friend of mine once said, “Where in the marriage vows does it say, ‘The wife shall clean the toilets?’ I have as much “taste for hou(S)ework” as I have for rancid porridge. –  Julienne”

The author and Julienne seemed to be surprised that being married is more ‘work.’ Choose to have a family and the ‘work’ increases logarithmically…. for everyone.

Another outdated argument… and allow me to paraphrase: ‘women are victims of our environment and of men… blah blah’. I found it amusing that the post was on an evolutionary psychology site… which would  — by it’s ‘nature’ — be less sympatheic.. Besides, it goes without saying , Julienne is single.

Here are a few thoughts on love and marriage:

1) MARRIAGE COMES WITH STRINGS ATTACHED

Please forgive me if I don’t shed a few tears that a few ‘strings’ may be attached when anyone gets married. Marriage is all about ‘strings.’ Everyone walks into any relationship with hopes and expectations. However, obtaining ‘full disclosure’ is usually discovered only AFTER we are married… for better or worse. Strangely enough, ‘living together’ is less revealing for most couples…. 

2) FAMILIES (2 or more) FUNCTION BEST COMMUNALLY

Marriages and families are best as a communal system…. ‘from each according to their abilities and to each according to their needs.’ Mother goes back to school, we all pitch in to pick up the slack. Children go to college, resources are mustered to get them through. If dad comes home from a tough physical job, leave him be and hand him a beer.  By the way, Communism works best ONLY in a family.

3) WORK IS GOOD FOR YOU…

 If you think you are giving your partner 80%, chances are that the ‘other’ person is making most of the concessions. Does this surprise you? To make this work… in any business, marriage or family… we must recognized that it is in our ‘enightened self-interest’ to help, support and comfort those who will give us pride and happiness in the future. The effort and time placed into your relationships… is what increases it’s chance of continuing survival… and mutual satisfaction into those far off ‘golden years.’.

 By the way, ‘keeping score’ in any relationship is key to conflict without resolution. Men and women have needed each other for thousands of years…. and accepting the fact that any relationship increases the number of tasks and ‘duties as assigned’ by all parties is just a fact of life. Concequently, there is a price for playing this game… but it also has it’s rewards.

Finding your partner in marriage makes one’s life richer, happier and fuller… but it does mean more inconvenience and work for all.

 

Roger Freberg

 

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Thanks Jenny Craig….. Closing in on 50 lbs!

42.6 pounds down with Jenny Craig...

It finally happened! I passed up Laura in absolute pounds lost 42.6 on Jenny Craig to 41 something… it doesn’t matter that she is a mere slip of a girl and her percentage is huge… it’s absolute pounds that mattter! ha! I was worried as I ate huge at Karen’s track banquet at USC… on Sunday.

I lost 6 pounds in the weeks ahead of Jenny… so 48 is my real total… but no matter… it was a good week in dropping 6.2 lbs.

Roger Freberg

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Kenneth Cole Fashion & Business Smart

Kenneth ColeOkay, time to talk about fashion and the mulitbillion dollar industry that is not about ‘inner beauty’. ( I love that line… by Nigel in ‘the Devil wears Prada’)

As with many people, we don’t know what we like until we see it, touch it, feel it… or in the case of my wife and daughters… until they try it on and some one shouts,”dah-ling, you look so ravashing… wonderful… you must have it!”

As I am now playing ‘Nigel’ to the women in my life… it brings me to another line I have used and enjoy,” you will take what I give you… and you will like it!” It ends discussion right away.

This brings me now to Kenneth Cole… who’s simple styling is timeless and tells a great story… anyone who can sell 40,000 pairs of shoes out the back end of a trailer in 2 1/2 days to get the business started… is very cool. Here’s an exerpt:

“…With Kenneth Cole Productions painted on the side of the truck, we parked at 1370 6th Avenue, across from the New York Hilton, the day of shoe show. We opened for business with a fully furnished 40 ft trailer, a director (Sometimes there was film in the camera, sometimes there wasn’t), models as actresses, and two of New York’s finest, compliments of Mayor Koch, as our doormen. We sold 40 thousand pairs of shoes in two and a half days (the entire available production) and we were off and running.”

Oh… I did buy a few things of his … and they will like it!

Roger Freberg

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There’s a Prize for marrying a Smarter Woman!

My Laura... always with a smile!“In fact, educated women nationwide now have a better chance of marrying,especially at an older age, than other women. In a historic reversal of past trends … college graduates and high-earning women are now more likely to marry than women with less education and lower earnings… Even women with PhDs no longer face a “success penalty” in their nuptial prospects… But by their 30s, women with advanced degrees catch up, marrying at a higher rate than their same-aged counterparts with less education.”
 

In our globally competitive world, couples and families will succeed best if each strives to be all they can be and lends a helping hand to each other.

Roger Freberg