Category: My Family

Without a family, one seldom thinks long term

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Happy 34th Wedding Anniversary, Sweetheart……. Fight on!

 

Laura in Trojan Suit and Happy    

Now, most men will recognize that Laura (my wife) is NOT wearing a soccer uniform… which, of course, makes her look all the more facinating, alluring and provocative.

What she is wearing is a USC Trojan Football Uniform and sipping a diet Pepsi at Federico’s in Buelton, California. We were returning home from a USC-UCLA game a couple of year’s ago. Trojans won.

How could you not love a woman who loves football? I think back to our first date… I was being recruited and recieved tickets to a previous rivalry game (1969) and ,since I had no money, asking a girl to a footall game served many purposes… especially financial. Little did I know it was the ‘perfect’ date for her.

Today we have been married 34 years with three adult children in whom we are proud…. and we go to football games together… what could be better?

So, boys, want to be happy for the rest of your life… find a girl who loves football…

Happy anniversary ,hun.

 

Roger Freberg

Others celebrating anniversaries:

9th Wedding Anniversary
1st Anniversary
a Military anniversary
Remembering their 8th anniverasary despite work
another 8th anniversary alone
a day late… but 7 years!
Tinkerbelle’s annoyed with wedding… but marriage is good
19 years and all is well?
sooooon to be married
2 years and happy

UPDATE: My bride has sweetly blogged about me… unbeknownst to me!

 

 

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Art and Music in School…. is it gone forever?

Karla taknig a rideOne of the things that left our schools virtually without protest in California is art and music. And those schools that have programs are constantly threatening to cut them back or eliminate them entirely.

Some schools have replaced REAL languages with ‘sign language’. This I cannot understand. Certainly the priorities of many schools are off center and do little if anything to help our children become economically or culturally literate.

The fun thnig about art is that it is the universal communicator… and ANYONE can learn it! One of the things we would do is buy a case of copy paper for our children to practice their drawing….

You don’t need ‘art paper’ to start…. just a lot of ‘scratch paper’. One case of scratch paper costs less than a trip or two for the family to a fast food place and it’s a lot less fattening.

 

Kristin on a ride

 

Another very cool thing about learning to draw is that it is something everyone can do as a family. Part of the fun is that there is so much to draw in the world… and then there are the cartoons that children always ask Mom and Dad to draw… with a little practice, you can be a hero to your kid.

Karen takng a rideWe wanted our daughters to: learn a musical instrument, participate in a team (not soccer) and an individual sport, find an academic interest they enjoyed and develope it, and discover the world of arts and crafts. There are many thnigs to help one become exposed to our world… but this was a start.

On this page I have placed some of Karla’s work — although all of my daughters have talent — and if the horses look a bit familiar… it’s probably because these are the kind you ride at fairs… Merry-go-rounds and Carousels.

If your schools do not offer these opportunities to your children… buy some colors and a box of copy paper and have sme fun!

 

Roger Freberg

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Don’t Marry a ‘Professional Woman’ — Part deux

40 years of liveing with 12 cats

 

I guess I could have said,”don’t marry a professional man”, but this was the title of an article in Forbes by Michael Noer that caused a whole lot of ladies to get their panties in a twist.

Noer’s article states some facts — well known to social scientists, — which are viewed as a call to arms by the masses of women who think that they ‘can have it all’ without any tradeoffs. Funny how life is full of tradeoffs.

Many of us — old enough to remember — can hear the shrill voices of the liberal sages telling us that if a woman works… it will really be okay… and her children will actually benefit from the separation… because she will return ( ta da!) to the home and give her family ‘QUALITY time.’ I also remember when one couldn’t criticize the concept of ‘quality time’ without being accused of being an facist islamic fundamentalist…. or the equivalent.

Today, we realize that the much revered concept of ‘quality time’ is actually a crock. Nothing good came out of it. Women, men and families were not prepared for the challenges. Children went adrift, families suffered and many relationships disolved overnight. 

I think this definition  of ‘quality time’ makes a lot more sense in today’s realities:

QUALITY TIME: the time you spend with your family when you are not otherwise ignoring them.

The same is true with your ‘significant other’. There is no such thing as quality time…only time. The less time you spend with anyone, the easier it is to grow apart. Hmmm… Continue reading “Don’t Marry a ‘Professional Woman’ — Part deux”

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the Parent — the first and most important teacher

Hey Guys!
Have you ever noticed some of the criticisms directed at parents from the halls of academia? Parents are supposedly ‘too involved’ with their adult college children, too interventionist with their children’s teenage friends and appear to be looking over the shoulders of their child’s grade and middle school teachers?

Why do parents do this?

Obviously, because getting involved gets the results all parents want… better performance. It reminds me of the saying-or at least my version of it:

” if you let the village raise your child…
don’t be surprised if you end up with the village idiot.”

1997 Laguna Middle School Throwers

Most parents — if they try a bit — can find ways in which they can teach their children or help them ‘be all they can be.’ Ask youself: what do I know that could help my kids reach the next level?

Were you an athlete? artist? musician? good in math? Or are you a good observor of people? Can you protect them from ‘bad associations”? Can you offer advice? Can you help them avoid the mistakes we all made at their ages?

I was an athlete, and when my children decided that they wanted to participate, I offered to help them learn some of the skills, send them to camps and pop for whatever equipment they needed. The parent is the support unit… but the child has to do the hard work. As a ‘supporter’ you can teach, cheer and offer encouragement when they don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The photograph you see above is from 1997. I volunteered to teach some young male and female middle schoolers how to throw the shot and discus… part of the fun was coming up with a design for our ‘shirt’. It stated ‘Laguna Throwers tc’ (tc stands for ‘track club’). I really wasn’t feeling too good here, physically, I weighed about 427 lbs and I was about to go into a diabetic shock … in a couple of years. That is a story in and of itself. Anyway, it was a way to help my daughter… in a way that was meaningful to her…. the rest was history.

So, don’t worry about ruffling a few feathers… after all, none of your child’s friends or teachers have to live with your kid… if things go bad. Studies show that a man in your child’s life is what they need to stay focused, besides, if someone needs to be the ‘bad guy’, it might just as well be you! Remember, your time and investment to get your kids on the right road early on when they are young is so much less than waiting for a problem to develope when they get older…… then, it takes so much more effort and so much more money to help them get back on that road if they ended up following a unhappy path.

Good Luck,

 

Roger Freberg

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Happy 22nd!….. remember ALL your anniversaries

Roger and Laura at 17The 22nd of August means something special to me…. it is our anniversary as a couple. It has been 442 months since Laura and I went on our first date. Yep, we celebrate every month.

How did it begin? Well, I brought Laura to the 1969 USC vs. UCLA football game! I thought that this was the ‘acid’ test…. if she enjoyed this activity… well … she would be ‘perfect’.

Neither Laura or I are perfect…. but we never go to bed mad and we always remember who loves ya. We also enjoy doing a lot of activities together… I have enjoyed helping Laura with some of the challenging topics in her professional life, whether it is cleaning her office or searching the internet for her. It is the simple things we do for each other that are the most endearing.

One of the fun things about having monthly anniversaries…  are monthly reminders of how important each has been to the other over the years. It’s never so busy that one can’t say thanks or bring a flower or offer a kind word. It doesn’t take much to brighten anyone’s day.

Some of my friends have come around to the idea of how nice it would be to have someone around who really — as opposed to pretend — enjoys some of their activities. I think some of my buddies would be willing to even watch the Oscars if their wives would watch the Super Bowl with them. We still enjoy football games, together and as a family!

USC vs. Fresno State Game!

The lesson here to the ladies…. if you are a buddy to your husband… maybe he’ll remember some of the important dates in your life… starting with your birthday.

Roger Freberg