WOMAN MAKES PLAY FOR HER EX WHEN WIFE LEAVES THE ROOM rang out the headline of one of Dear Abby’s latest columns. It all sounded a bit funny to this ol boy. I think ‘Dear Dad’ needs to offer another view.
If you have already read the advice column from the attached link above, you may or may not agree with Abby’s assessment of the ‘problem’. I don’t.
1) Here’s the first piece of the puzzle…. and although there are plenty of questions, I think we can figure out what is gong on at the funeral:
“On the way home, my hubby told me she waited until I left the room, then kissed him on the cheek in front of the whole family and told him she still loves him.”
2) Here’s another juicy piece:
“That’s not all. I asked him if, for one minute, he was sorry he had married me. He said, and I quote, “No, but if I had known she still loved me, I would have never remarried.” I was crushed.”
3) Here’s the key section of Abby’s advice:
DEAR BROKENHEARTED: Your husband appears to lack sensitivity, good judgment and empathy for the feelings of others. He also appears to lack common sense, if he expected you would not take his comments personally.
What a mess… Where does ‘Dear Dad’ begin?
In part 1, the husband ( read fairly honest guy) is upfront with his current wife and informs her of ‘the kiss’. I am sure that if it really rang his chimes, he may not have been so forthcoming. In any event, he’s not responsible for his ex’s actions.
Part 2 is not as clear to me. I can visualize wife number 2 relentlessly asking for ‘proof’ of his love until … annoyed… he toys with her and gives the regrettable,”if I had known… I would never have remarried.” Well, either way, she has to deal with it. I give him full credit for honesty.
Lastly comes Abby’s Advice. Abby, the woman isn’t always right. I think wife #2 is greatly responsible for her own misery, it is largely self-inflicted. The husband informed her of what the world largely witnessed… and she reacted poorly. She needs to remember that wife number 1 wasn’t always his ex and feelings may continue, even in the bitterest of departures. Wife number 2 needs to remind her husband why he ‘remarried’ in the first place… courtship goes both ways…. and in successful relationships, courtship never stops.
If wife number 2 has forgotten him, he will soon forget why he married her.
Roger Freberg