Month: July 2007

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Love starts & maintains with a simple kindness

Love starts with many simple kindnesses

Every newspaper has them… folks who offer their advice on love, sex and relationships. Well, at the risk of offering unwanted advice: they are all so much a waste of time. Love is about sincere kindness and sensing the needs of the other person.

Here is an example that I noticed the other day:

While at the international airport in Los Angeles, I noticed a nice middle aged couple tucked away sitting in an alcove near. He was  obviously a bit sleepy and without saying anything, his partner stood up and moved to a large pillar where she sat on the ground. She motioned to him to place his head on her lap. He didn’t need much encouragement. He fell asleep with her gentle hands rubbing his temples.

People walked by and the reactions were interesting. Some were amused… and some were not. A few women looked on as if they were observing some sort of primitive example of male domination … and a few men passed by impressed by what they thought was a true alpha male at work.

What was transacting was a simple recognition of a need and the offering of a simple kindness…. some call this love. I have always felt that love starts with recognizing simple needs … and offering simple solutions.

Laura has always been there for me… even when I didn’t realize how sleepy I was.

Roger Freberg

The above picture is of Laura and I back in high school in 1970 sharing a bit of lunch… and yes.. my head was resting in her lap even way back then.

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Biltong from South Africa …. thanks!

South African Biltong

Karen brought ol’ Dad something nice from South Africa…. “Biltong” … this is their version of what we refer to as beef Jerkey…. strips of seasoned and dried meat. Jerkey is big in our neck of the woods and in our family. We love it! Cataneo’s is our local favorite!

The yello package is of some Kudo Biltong that Karen tells me can be found any where in Capetown; however, this particular Springbok Biltong could only be found in Kruger National Park.

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Controlling Anonymity on the Internet

contolling the world of anonymity

Psychologists and anyone who studies human nature knows that anonymity can bring out the worst in people. This is why ‘terrorists’ love masks. Yes, there are those wonderful anonymous good Samaritans in life and on the net… but they are rare. Many folks put on the hood of evil to let their own personal demons out on the world and it amazes me who these people are in reality. Unfortunately, many of these are just average folks… with issues.

I know one athletic board that is frequented by young athletes and their coaches that has since descended into meaninglessness due to anonymous bullying. Controlling bad behavior and eliminating anonymity keeps a board useful, informative and productive. Posters & coaches who have not earned their laurels on the field try to claim them on boards… unfortunately, bullying isn’t always limited to the bad coaches and less accomplished athletes. Athletics — I fear — has its share of psychopaths.

Cyber bullies and cyber gangs can dominate chat rooms and various posting boards if left uncontrolled. Their acrimonious methods and unethical and abusive tactics are much the same. However, regardless of their behavior they are all masked in anonymity. The better boards control for this by demanding verifiable emails and personal data from posters. There are some boards where nastiness occurs even when you KNOW who they are… but they’d no doubt be worse were they anonymous.

It takes effort to keep boards focused… but it benefits everyone.

Roger Freberg

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Laura Freberg’s Wonderful Psychology Blog

Laura's site is a big hit!

My wife Laura’s web site has been around in one form or another since 1995 and has evolved from something her students could use to a site that encompasses: her text book, current issues in Psychology, student participation and development and areas of personal interest… like family, hobbies, her psychology library and a few favorite wonderful recipes.

Although we are somewhat outside of the academic calendar,  Laura’s site  has continued to demonstrate wide interest around the world. The map above shows some of the many hits — grouped in frequency– just over the past 3 days.

Congratulations, Laura.

Roger Freberg