During the 70’s, I worked in New York City which was — very frankly — not as nice as it is today. It was during a period of time in which there were a number of women professionals that would search every man’s gesture and speech for clues of his hidden suppression-of-all-women agenda. For a guy like me this was fun times.
I worked as a marketing guy for a very buttoned up straight laced firm just beyond grand central station. Fortunately or unfortunately for me, I was plagued with all the manners of another time and place. I would open doors for women, say ‘yes ma’am’ and add all the pleasantries that symbolize all sorts of monstrous things to very insecure women. Eventually I got used to the change in civility, but I couldn’t resist ‘tweaking’ a few of the more offended. I would usually arrive early to work ( by 7am) and obligingly opened the door for one woman who then refused to cross the threshold… I was amused and this was very dangerous to amuse me. So from then on, I would open the door with a flourish and bow very deeply to everyone’s delight … or maybe, just the men laughed but it was great fun. Today, fun times are still always abundant.
My family and I have all enjoyed the Stargate series on television with space travel, the over-the-top bad guys and the wonderful cliché’s. One scene contained something for me: the bad guy (Ba’al) washed his hands and said to his female slaves, “there is a god standing here with wet hands.” Lovely! Not long ago, when our local coffee shop was filled with what one might like to call ‘tough women’… you know the type: short hair, lots of cats and a perpetual snarl. I stood up and said ‘there is a god standing here with no coffee!’ Laura — on cue — ran ‘obediently’ with my coffee and the reaction of the women present was delightful…. but to the men, I was a god. Laura loves to tell this story with a smile.
Sometimes, I feel that the world is far too filled with a bitterness and too little fun. This is so unnecessary as men and women inescapably need each other. Besides, we all need a good chuckle…. and we all need to laugh a lot more… and — yes — I still open doors, Ma’am.
Roger Freberg