A wiser and much older man once gave me a piece of golden advice after reflecting on his happy and successful life… it didn’t mean much to me then… because I was only 10 years old, but I promised to file it away until such time as it may be of use.
He said,” You can never be happy , if she is not happy.” I won’t say that I have always remembered his advice… but it has kept me from falling into those mantraps that few marriages ever survive.
Now, I think most people realize that you really don’t make anyone happy in this world by giving them everything they ever wanted. You make them happy by creating an environment and providing the tools and resources that aid any person in achieving their personal goals.
Laura passed on an article entitled, “Spouse’s Personality May be Hazardous to your health.” As you will discover, the article deals with how the personality of a ‘patient’ recovering from a health issue directly affects the emotional happiness of the caregiving spouse.
The most important lesson of this study is a simple one: “Optimism in one spouse appeared to have beneficial effects for the partner.” So, there are many things one can do to lighten the mood in a home… here are just a few:
1) Allow the sun into the home… keep the windows open.
2) Place fresh flowers in the most heavily used parts of your home.
3) Keep the environment pleasant… light music, ample reading material and a willingness to talk and listen.
4) Bake and cook what others enjoy. All homes feel better with fresh bread in the oven…. the smell is enticing and unmistakeable.
When a family member is down… it’s up to everyone — including the one afflicted — to keep the mood light.
Roger Freberg