A while back, I looked at the universal question: “Can an INTJ and and ENTJ ever find love and happiness?”
Since the time I wrote this blog nearly 3 years ago, this continues to be a favorite with people visiting my site over and over. We do know relationships are very important to people, and why some relationships work and others dissolve is the elusive 64 million dollar question. So much time and effort has been given to analyzing why relationships fail, and far too little effort has been made to understanding why some relationships work. I believe, it is often more helpful in studying why things work.
I decided to see what folks were saying about this age old question and there is much to read for those interested.
Here’s an interesting site that after you slug through the graphs yourself a few truisms pop out that might surprise you. One thing popped out, almost everyone is happy with s0meone pretty much like themselves. And it should not be surprising that people with similar personalities gravitate together…
However, I was most interested in how the INTJ (Laura) and the ENTJ (Roger) paired up. Were there any surprises? Here is part of a cautionary statement:
“Similarly, Intuitive Thinking types (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ) have only a 59% satisfaction rate when paired with another Intuitive Thinker. These types tend to be among the most critical of their partners and may be harder to please in general.”
As I mentioned in the post three years ago, it is how we (individually and as a couple) address our areas of potential conflict that ultimately measures the extent of our compatibility. Knowing that we — or others — may be hard to please and even critical at times might cause us to pause and fully assess the impact we may have in releasing an instinctive salvo! What is important is not our differences, but our willingness to work together.
What I found most interesting was they types of personalities that attracted both personalities. The INTJ and the ENTJ are compatible with people who share all but one factor:
INTJ with INTP, INFP, INFJ and oddly enough the ENTJ
ENTJ with ENTP, ENFP, ENFJ and also with another ENTJ
Outside of the consistent difference in the extrovert/introvert factor ( the I or the E), both personality types prefer people who might be explained this way:
the N : “Intuitives tend to be more abstract in their perceptions, and tend to think more about meaning, connections, and possibilities. Intuitives are often more imaginative than realistic.”
the F: “Feelers prefer decisions that are consistent with their values and help to build harmonious relationships.”
the J: “Judgers tend to prefer structure, schedules, and plans. They like clear expectations and feel accomplishment from completing tasks.”
the P: “Perceivers prefer an open-ended, spontaneous and flexible existence. They enjoy feeling that their options are open and that there are many possibilities available.”
These are broad definitions, but do point to some interesting dynamics between ENTJ’s and INTJ’s.
So, with all these similarities and with an INTJ that already is predisposed to like him 😉 … how can an ENTJ resist?
Roger
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