Men seem to write — but can they write advice columns?
Let’s just say that I have read a lot of advice columns over the years and frankly, they all seem to be written by women. I am not saying that women don’t have an interesting perspective, but it does have a female twist and we’re the one’s getting twisted.
Dear Abby seems to be hitting it’s ‘next generation’ phase with the daughter taking over the long run column. The perspective hasn’t changed much. In my humble opinion, she sides with aged parents over the needs of adult children and future generations. Personally, a child’s college tuition comes before grandma’s world vacation.
The ‘Advice Goddess” is a single, hip bachelorette of louuuuve. She seems overly cynical to me, somewhat casual or off the cuff with her advice, and with a tinge of bitterness that is probably a justifiable reflection of life in the single scene of New York and now the West side of elay. I am sure she gets help with her questions , but she just seems a bit edgy.
It won’t be any surprise to men that women who write advice columns tend to weigh heavily on men. Men need to be this and men need to be that, but they can’t be men. At least, they are not allowed to be ‘traditional men.’
The problem is obvious to anyone searching the internet for male columnists dispensing advice; they really don’t seem to exist. There are plenty of chat rooms in which men fantasize about what type of advice a MALE advice giver would provide. Yep, sex and dates to sporting events would be two hot topics. However, a man’s take is probably no more or less self serving than the women on the internet. Advice comes cheap… and sometimes it is worthless.
I guess there really is a need for a ‘Dear Dad’ column for men who want answers that will work for them as men. “Dear Dad’ may use words like ‘manliness’ and you wouldn’t hear anything about her Mom or yours other that what is absolutely necessary because the focus of the family is our home and not theirs.
‘Dear Dad’ might also advise men to choose and lose partners based on what they find in a woman rather than what they hope she will become, and this process may take 30 seconds. He might also tell them — and this they will remember with regret — to choose their mate based on what she is likely to evolve into down the road. As the old Italian saying goes, ‘want to know what your wife will be like… look at her mother!’
As a side note, the person providing advice will always be bringing his/her own baggage into the process. This seems to be inescapable. What have their relationship experiences been? How do they view men or women in general or as individuals? However, advice to men from men has a chance of working. Men are more likely to tell another guy the way it really is and a woman — sorry gals — is only guessing.
Oh yeah, the secret to happiness? Besides “butter”, marry the right person.
Roger Freberg